Woody’s Chalkboards (2018)

Quip Date Note
I buy organic vegetables, but when I get home they're donuts Apr. 13, 2018
If your dog barks during ATH, tell him to roll over and play Pablo Apr. 13, 2018
@tylerkkelemen: MJ played against ice cream truck drivers and plumbers Apr. 10, 2018
@tylerjkelemen Tom Brady is a system quarterback Apr. 10, 2018
I bet you $407.89 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie Apr. 3, 2018
I will win I will win Apr. 3, 2018
I hate when things take forever and a day. I don't mind waiting forever. It's the extra day that kills me Apr. 2, 2018
I got hit by a rental car. It Hertz Apr. 2, 2018
You can fool some of the people some of the time, but I fool all of the panelists all of the time Mar. 30, 2018
Hosting a new T.V. show about a village in the Netherlands "Around The Hoorn" Mar. 30, 2018
Where there is love, there is live...insurance Mar. 28, 2018
Sequel: Three chalkboards outside Tony Reali's apartment Mar. 28, 2018
Every time Tony gives me a point, an angel gets her wings. She has to walk today Mar. 22, 2018
Fear of ghost who uses puns is paranomasia Mar. 22, 2018
You know where I'm at, you know where I be Mar. 21, 2018 Clinton Yates was the panelist from Denver, but had Woody's chalkboard up
Follow #SnoopKaws Insta & Twitter @snoopkaws Mar. 21, 2018 Clinton Yates was the panelist from Denver, but had Woody's chalkboard up
Dance with your dogs in the nighttime Mar. 20, 2018 Clinton Yates was the panelist from Denver, but had Woody's chalkboard up
Better POTUS name? Woodrow or Clinton Mar. 20, 2018 Clinton Yates was the panelist from Denver, but had Woody's chalkboard up
When I retire from ATH, it will be the end of an error Mar. 19, 2018
I'm on the "OS" diet. I only eat tacos, burritos, Cheetos, Cheerios, Fritos, Oreos and potatoes. I've gained 12 pounds Mar. 19, 2018
In my bracket, I'm picking only chalk Mar. 14, 2018
Beware the ides of March Madness, Caesar Mar. 14, 2018
Think Tony will be fair to me today? Me, neither Mar. 13, 2018
Everything I know I learned from Captain Kangaroo Mar. 13, 2018
Will he be called for offensive pass interference? (drum roll) Mar. 9, 2018
Horse named Rob Gronkowski qualifies for Kentucky Derby (to be continued) Mar. 9, 2018
I think, therefore I am, I think Mar. 8, 2018
ATH Director is the best in the business. I'm ready for my close-up J.D. Mar. 8, 2018
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts Mar. 6, 2018
Nobody is perfect, and I am nobody Mar. 6, 2018
I was about to tell a joke about time traveling, but you guys didn't like it Feb. 28, 2018
Someone stole my coffee cup. Now I have to go to the police station and look at mug shots Feb. 28, 2018
I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers, but every time the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back Feb. 27, 2018
I'm opening up a new place selling synonym twirls Feb. 27, 2018
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all of his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?" Feb. 22, 2018
Creating a new TV show about hammerhead losing on purpose: Shark Tanking Feb. 22, 2018
My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and has never had a customer. All that time and nothing to chauffeur it Feb. 19, 2018
President's Day is just a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one Feb. 19, 2018
According to my neighbor's journal, I have "boundary issues" Feb. 16, 2018
I'm not the type of person to distance myself from anything...far from it Feb. 16, 2018
Keyara Allen, would you please go to the union springs prom with me? Feb. 15, 2018
Chalkboard available for birthday parties. I'll bring the clown Feb. 15, 2018 Arrow pointing at Woody
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses. How the stables have turned Feb. 8, 2018
A lot of conflict in the wild west could have been avoided if they had built their towns big enough for another person Feb. 8, 2018
I just had a once in a lifetime experience. I'll never be doing that again Feb. 1, 2018
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2AM. Can you believe it, 2AM? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums Feb. 1, 2018
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me Jan. 31, 2018
Nothing good happens at 3AM, including my sleep Jan. 31, 2018
6:30 is the best time on the clock, hands down Jan. 29, 2018
I've expanded my skills. I can now forget what I'm doing while I'm actually doing it Jan. 29, 2018
Why do they put 4 wheels on shopping carts when only 3 of them ever work? Jan. 24, 2018
If I've told you once I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate! Jan. 24, 2018
If you can read this Jan. 23, 2018
I insist on prefection Jan. 23, 2018
Beard, clean-shaven or paper bag? Jan. 18, 2018
These days teens wash their own mouths out with soap Jan. 18, 2018
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it Jan. 15, 2018
Woody's Tip Of The Day: Jan. 15, 2018
When someone yells "Stop." I never know if it's in the name of love, if it's hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen Jan. 12, 2018
Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside Jan. 12, 2018
I said it once, and I'll say it again. It. Jan. 3, 2018
My New Year's Resolutions: Jan. 3, 2018