Don’t let the solar eclipse darken your day
What really happens during a solar eclipse

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Mind over matter, except my mind doesn’t matter

Eve said to Adam:
“You’ve been like this since day 1.”

Woody’s Tip Of The Day:
If you forget your date’s name, take them to Starbucks

There are so many scams these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them
The amount of people who confuse “to” and “too” is amazing two me
Ice cream is cheaper than therapy
I used to be great at wordplay, once a pun a time
Breaking News - man in boxres leads police on brief chase

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I flunked 1st grade. Couldn’t write between the lines

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Learn how to spell. Autocorrect isn’t always write
I just bought a pack of toilet paper. That’s $10 down the toilet
“When the heck did I say that?” - Simon
One of my many excellent qualities is how humble I am
I prefer my kale with a silent “K”
Using latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi
If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing rihgt

Note: sic

Reali thinks I pay no attention to him. I think that’s what he said
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