I said it once, and I’ll say it again. It.

My New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. Stop making lists
    B. Be more consistent
  2. Learn to count
The guy who came up with the name for the fireplace wasn’t very creative
On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me :

Note: Drawing of two turtles with wings

Christmas Spirits

Note: Drawings of alcohol bottles [pic]

I believed in Santa. Then I didn’t believe in Santa. Then I became Santa. Now I look like Santa
Elevator music is just awful on every level
I’ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities

If you’re happy and you know it,
clap your…aw!

Note: drawing of a dinosaur with small arms [pic]

I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful, of it was just the 27th outfit she’d tried on and he didn’t want to be late to the party
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, actually it’s more of a wrap
One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re young. If they panic, you’re old

555.5 wins
Next goal:
666

Note to self: Don’t forget to write that note to yourself

I had my blood drawn today
Is it a good likeness?

Note: drawing of a red blood cell [pic]

It’s taken me awhile, but I think I’m ready to accept that it’s not butter

Friday is my second favorite 'F' word. Floccinaucinihilipilification is my first

Note: Dictionary.com got you covered: floccinaucinihilipilification

I’m a vol-in-tears
Everything I know in life, I learned from watching Howdy Doody
Of course I have no plan B. I never had a plan A
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