Have a nice weekend, as if I care
Congratulations to the 8 speling bee champs
Don't be such
a fool


I specialize in paranormal activity
I don’t have time and crayons to explain myself to you
He was a dark and stormy knight
When I lose today I want participation ribbon and parting gifts
If I can be on TV, so can you. Send for my brochure. $11,538
No animals were hurt during the making of this show. My feelings were
I woke up on wrong side of bed today. In the wrong house
My lousy car won’t autocorrect
The Knicks shouldn’t buy lottery tickets this week
Jeopardy category: Fools named Stugotz

Note: Stugotz was another panelist on this episode

I held sign at airport today that said:

Cut me some slack. I’m doing my best
This blackboard may include sensitive content

Note: some words censored [pic]

Early to bed, early to rise, Ben Franklin? Go fly a kite!
I’m not easy on the eyes. Or the ears. But I smell good
I am a professional puntificator

My world-famous chili recipe:
Open can. Heat. Eat

« Newer Page: 1 of 204