I’m holding up my end of this bargin. The Paige guy isn’t
I’m deep in thought, or deep in something
I’m having a space-themed party, but I still have to planet
That pen I borrowed from the bank was off the chain
Texans know how the defenders at the Alamo must have felt
I’m not superstitious on Friday the 13th, but I am a little stitious
I can’t find a release date for Star Wars: Rogue Two
Often, instead of saying “for example”, I’ll say something such as “such as”, for example
What if I told you you read this wrong?

Spelling is

If you see me crying, it’s because of my haircut
Sarcasm is an art. If it was a science, I’d have my PhD.
Don’t stop belivin’

Note: drawing of Santa [pic]

Jingle Bell Rock


The only time of year where you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks

“Rapping paper”


For a detective, a surprise party is the ultimate insult
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn in the kitchen told me I’m fine
An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough
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