That’s not lint on my coat…well, maybe some
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers because I can always count on them
I wish more people were at a loss for words
I was hooked on auctions after only going once…going twice
Don’t forget, tonight, the Moon will be visable from Earth. The last time this happened was last night.
Shot 79 in gold yesterday. Improved my lie. Said I shot 71.
I’ll admit, I’m not perfect, but what did the horse I rode in on do?
I just read a list of “100 things to do before you die.” I was surprised “yell for help” wasn’t on the list
I was so poor I couldn’t pay attention. So I’m stupid, too
I’ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right any more. Even my birthday suit needs ironing
Words will open a lot of doors for you. Push and pull
I woudln’t be who I am if I wasn’t what I am
Yesterday, I screwed in a lightbulb. Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
I love ATH viewers unconditionally, with a few conditions
Always remember to be nice to the people who have access to your toothbrush
Today, I broke my own personal record for most consecutive days lived
Full lunar eclipse of the blackboard