My younger sister wanted to be an only child
Guy asked to be friends again. I said, “Why make the same mistake twice?”
Snowing in Denver. I took the bus today. I hope the police don’t find it
I got the flu shot today. Yep, got flu. Should have gotten anti-flu shot
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know
I’m a huge fan of space. Both outer and personal
The older I get, the earlier it gets late
Just bought some Halloween candy that won’t make it to Halloween
Dreamed last night I ate a pillow. Woke up with cotton mouth
When playing in Canada you have to bring eh game
If 3 of 4 people suffer with cavities, does the other enjoy them?
I shot my age in golf on my birthday. I quit after 12 holes
Because a broker invested my money I’m broker
Electrician sent me a bill for $2,000. I was shocked
Boomerang I threw yesterday hasn’t come back. I’m scared
National Pirate Day! Willie St-aargh-ell my favorite
I just bought a reversible jacket. Let’s see how this turns out
First on my bucket list is a new bucket
Gave Tony gluestick instead of chapstick. He won’t talk to me
Tony asks some ridiculous questions. Right up my alley

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

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