I’m young in Galapagos giant tortoise years
I’m milk of magnesia intolerant
I’m not lost. I’m a professional explorer
Warning! This panelist will get frequent mutes today
Buying Powerball tickets is my retirement plan
If you have to choose between bacon and being skinny, do you choose applewood?
I don’t take the Rockies for granite
I’m having people over for dinner. They asked what they could bring. I said “dinner”
I want to spend the rest of my life laughing

My family’s menu had two choices:
take it or leave it

I dream of falling off a cliff. I wake up on the floor
I’m a non-profit operation, but not by choice
Am I the only one who kicks dropped ice under the fridge?

Bored by chalk brackets?
Chalkboard ♡s it!

Cold? Sit in a corner. It’s 90 degrees
People who think they know everything annoy the rest of us who do
I wanted Fairleigh Dickinson to play Harley Davidson

Policeman asked where I was between 5 and 6.
Kindergarten

I do cross-fit. Cross my fingers and hope my pants fit
At my church the bishop moves diagonally
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