Polly needs a comeback

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Polly wants a facetime

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I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know
The time travelers meeting scheduled for today will now be held last Thursday

(Na)16
Adam West

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The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest

There are 2 reasons why I would never drink toilet water:
number 1 and number 2

Paper cut:
A tree’s final moment of revenge

Don’t
look

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The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven, says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers
Young at heart. Slightly older in other places
I lost the spelling bee because I couldn’t spell ‘covfefe’
I have lots of hidden talents. I just can’t find them
Never go to a doctor whose plants have died
They call it a “selfie” because “narcisseitie” is too hard to spell
Yes, it hurt when I fell from heaven

Today I’m giving my best opinion by telepathy…
as you know

Procrastination is a dish best served eventually

You know what I hate?
People who answer their own questions

“Memory foam pillow fights”:
That’s one fight you’ll never forget

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