Chalkboard available for birthday parties. I’ll bring the clown
Note: Arrow pointing at Woody
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich have horses. How the stables have turned
A lot of conflict in the wild west could have been avoided if they had built their towns big enough for another person
I just had a once in a lifetime experience. I’ll never be doing that again
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2AM. Can you believe it, 2AM? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me
Nothing good happens at 3AM, including my sleep
6:30 is the best time on the clock, hands down
I’ve expanded my skills. I can now forget what I’m doing while I’m actually doing it
Why do they put 4 wheels on shopping carts when only 3 of them ever work?
If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!
Beard, clean-shaven or paper bag?
These days teens wash their own mouths out with soap
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it
When someone yells “Stop.” I never know if it’s in the name of love, if it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen
Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside