At family potluck picnics I’m asked to bring paper towels
NBA Finals? Blah. I’m headed to my 5th straight showdown

I bless the rains down in Africa
– Toto
Ruff
– Toto

Land of the free because of the brave who served and died
Jokes about bad pole vaulters don’t seem to go over very well
To be frank, I’d have to change my name
The best thing about the good old days, is that I was never good or old
With great reflexes, comes great response ability
I think we’re in for a bad spell of wether

Somebody just gave me a free air guitar…
no strings attached

It’s National Idaho Day. Love the Gem State. Gym state? Jim State? Potato State?
On ATH it’s not the heat, but the humility
I just chalk it up to another bad day at ATH
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
I came; I saw; I forgot what I was doing here
I have 39 unmatched socks. Please advise.
I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them
Spent 25 minutes looking for my phone in car, using flashlight on my phone

Anagram for Woody Paige is aged poi yow.
Hawaiian dish

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