Woody’s Chalkboards (2023)

Quip Date Note
I like when you read cold chalkboard takes. You get brain freeze. Aug. 4, 2023
If I were a triangle I would be a cute one. Aug. 4, 2023
I'm opening hokey pokey help center. You can turn yourself around. Jul. 28, 2023
Bigfoot awarded lifetime hide-and-seek achievement award. Jul. 28, 2023
Never shall Mark Twain and Shania Twain meet in a Vegas restaurant. Jul. 20, 2023
Want to build an ark? I Noah guy. Jul. 20, 2023
My favorite character in Asteroid City is Woodrow. Jul. 13, 2023
I'm not getting old. I'm busy becoming a legend. Jul. 13, 2023
Selfies mean nobody else wants to be in your photos. Jul. 6, 2023
I'm coming back hot today. Get out of the way. Jul. 6, 2023
I'm not useless. I can be used as a bad example. Jun. 23, 2023
You look totally stupid like that. Jun. 23, 2023
ATH should be two hours long because I talk slow. May. 10, 2023
78 percent of adults are not smart. I'm amoung the other 34 percent. May. 10, 2023
I'm the only genuis on this show. May. 5, 2023
My favorite childhood memory is my back didn't hurt then. May. 5, 2023
Sarcasm is a free service I provide to viewers. Apr. 26, 2023
I lost my blue check mark and sunglasses. I miss my sunglasses. Apr. 26, 2023
I'm as surprised as Tony by what comes out of my mouth. Apr. 19, 2023
If you aren't named Alexa don't act like a know-it-all. Apr. 19, 2023
Every mistake I make today is the result of getting out of bed. Apr. 11, 2023
Rather than sending texts I prefer being condescending in person. Apr. 11, 2023
I have nobody to blame but Clinton. Mar. 31, 2023 Clinton = Clinton Yates, the host of ATH today
Grogu is a nepo baby. Mar. 31, 2023
You are not booing me at home watching the show. You are shouting "Woooooody". Mar. 24, 2023
Other panelists think I act like I don't care what they say. It's not an act. Mar. 24, 2023
I got this job because my father owns the Disney corporation. Mar. 22, 2023
All my opinions are my own. ATH refuses to take responsibility for me. Mar. 22, 2023
I'm about to break out today with ATH karaoke. Mar. 8, 2023
I invented new Twitter game called Woodle. All guesses are correct. Mar. 8, 2023
I was my shcool's champion in pick-up sticks. Feb. 28, 2023
My SAT score in high school was below freezing. Feb. 28, 2023
The late bird gets the worm because the early bird gets the buffet. Feb. 24, 2023
I emerged today from being in the dark all week to do ATH Feb. 24, 2023
Alexa: What am I doing here? Feb. 17, 2023
Hello, Canada. I brought my eh game today for you. Feb. 17, 2023
I'm an adult person. Sort of. Feb. 1, 2023
I'd rather spend midnight at the oasis than be in the desert on a horse with no name. Feb. 1, 2023
I won't be on ATH tomorrow because of load management. Jan. 26, 2023
The one thing I can always count on are my fingers. Jan. 26, 2023
I'm envious of people who have never met Frank. Jan. 23, 2023 Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show
Where was the 1981 Standord band when Cowboys needed it? Jan. 23, 2023
Doing Around The Horn is dangerous. Don't try this at home. Jan. 17, 2023
I want to appear on an alternative universe Arount The Horn Jan. 17, 2023
I promised I would fix it, and I will. Someday. Jan. 13, 2023
Life is too short for cheap wine, cheap toilet paper and cheap men. Jan. 13, 2023
Hey, McCarthy, The Wizards lost 10 straight. Jan. 5, 2023
In 1555 Nostradamus predicted I would win ATH today. Jan. 5, 2023