I like when you read cold chalkboard takes. You get brain freeze.
If I were a triangle I would be a cute one.
Bigfoot awarded lifetime hide-and-seek achievement award.
Never shall Mark Twain and Shania Twain meet in a Vegas restaurant.
My favorite character in Asteroid City is Woodrow.
I’m not getting old. I’m busy becoming a legend.
Selfies mean nobody else wants to be in your photos.
I’m coming back hot today. Get out of the way.
I’m not useless. I can be used as a bad example.
ATH should be two hours long because I talk slow.
78 percent of adults are not smart. I’m amoung the other 34 percent.
I’m the only genuis on this show.
My favorite childhood memory is my back didn’t hurt then.
Sarcasm is a free service I provide to viewers.
I lost my blue check mark and sunglasses. I miss my sunglasses.
I’m as surprised as Tony by what comes out of my mouth.
If you aren’t named Alexa don’t act like a know-it-all.