If a stranger sits next to you, say: “Did you bring the money?”
I always thought it would take a lot longer to get to 73
I asked a bank clerk to check my balance. He pushed me over
In my defense I was left unsupervised as a child

My grocery list today:

  1. Potato chips.
  2. More stuff.
It’s not a sport if you ride in a cart, drink, eat, smoke and lie about your score
Miss White just left Colonel Mustard for Professor Plum. No clue why
If you get a call you don’t want, say: “Hello, you’re on the air”
I didn’t fall. I was checking to see if gravity works
Never say “It goes without saying,” then say it
I don’t argue with Sarah. I just mentor her on how to be right

Note: Sarah = Sarah Spain, another panelist on the show

I didn’t know you award points at home. I shouldn’t have been told
My guardian angel just gave me two weeks notice
I would act my age, but I’ve never been this age before
Have a nice weekend, as if I care
Congratulations to the 8 speling bee champs
Don't be such
a fool


I specialize in paranormal activity
I don’t have time and crayons to explain myself to you
He was a dark and stormy knight
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