| Quip | Date | Note |
|---|---|---|
| See you around... | May. 25, 2025 | ATH's last show. Woody was only on segment 1. [pic] |
| This is the paramount penultimate week. | May. 13, 2025 | |
| For 23 years this show has cut a wild wide world of swATH. | May. 13, 2025 | |
| I do all my own stunts. | May. 9, 2025 | |
| I've tried to cut down on swearing. What the XXXX | May. 9, 2025 | [pic] |
| Have not. Want not. | May. 1, 2025 | |
| L.A. Arena last night was renamed kryptonite.com | May. 1, 2025 | |
| ESPN wanted me to be normal for 23 years. Too late now. | Apr. 22, 2025 | |
| Today's Prediction | Apr. 22, 2025 | |
| It was Paige and Paige only. | Apr. 15, 2025 | |
| It was Paige and Paige only. | Apr. 15, 2025 | |
| I try to please two people every day. | Apr. 8, 2025 | Tim = Tim Cowlishaw and Bill = Bill Plaschke, both panelists on the show |
| Call me, Ishmael. I've got a whale of a story. | Apr. 8, 2025 | |
| We love you, Woody | Apr. 1, 2025 | Since they are not getting a Halloween episode, they did it on April Fools. Sarah Spain was playing Woody. [pic] |
| Trying retirement. It's not working | Apr. 1, 2025 | Since they are not getting a Halloween episode, they did it on April Fools. Sarah Spain was playing Woody. [pic] |
| April Fools me twice shame on me | Apr. 1, 2025 | Since they are not getting a Halloween episode, they did it on April Fools. Sarah Spain was playing Woody. [pic] |
| If life gives you nothing but lemons drink limeade. | Mar. 13, 2025 | |
| I'm a 2,956-hit wonder. | Mar. 13, 2025 | |
| 2,956 shows without work-related injury except to my pride. | Mar. 6, 2025 | |
| The best ATH panelists are those who say the least. | Mar. 6, 2025 | |
| Opinion in this segment are like bread - wry and stale. | Feb. 24, 2025 | |
| My eyes glazed over while looking at the donuts. | Feb. 24, 2025 | |
| I just come here for the RC Cola and the Moon Pies. | Feb. 21, 2025 | |
| Oh, yeah, Canada! | Feb. 21, 2025 | |
| So glad we're no longer doing ATH from a bomb shelter. | Feb. 13, 2025 | |
| Duct tape can't save Cowlishaw's opinions. | Feb. 13, 2025 | Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show |
| Chalkboard offers | Feb. 5, 2025 | |
| Pickleball addiction? | Feb. 5, 2025 | |
| Today on ATH I will be performing my high wire act. | Jan. 21, 2025 | |
| Tony can't figure me out. I don't come with instructions. | Jan. 21, 2025 | |
| Sporting good companies | Jan. 16, 2025 | |
| I must be in the front row | Jan. 16, 2025 | |
| Back by demand. | Jan. 10, 2025 | |
| Our ♥s go out to LA | Jan. 10, 2025 | |
| We may be grumpy old men | Jan. 8, 2025 | |
| Two panelists are in their 30s. The other two are from the 1940s. | Jan. 8, 2025 |