Woody’s Chalkboards (recent 100)
| Quip | Date | Note |
|---|---|---|
| See you around... | May 25, 2025 | ATH's last show. Woody was only on segment 1. [pic] |
| This is the paramount penultimate week. | May 13, 2025 | |
| For 23 years this show has cut a wild wide world of swATH. | May 13, 2025 | |
| I do all my own stunts. | May 9, 2025 | |
| I've tried to cut down on swearing. What the XXXX | May 9, 2025 | [pic] |
| Have not. Want not. | May 1, 2025 | |
| L.A. Arena last night was renamed kryptonite.com | May 1, 2025 | |
| ESPN wanted me to be normal for 23 years. Too late now. | Apr 22, 2025 | |
| Today's Prediction | Apr 22, 2025 | |
| It was Paige and Paige only. | Apr 15, 2025 | |
| It was Paige and Paige only. | Apr 15, 2025 | |
| I try to please two people every day. | Apr 8, 2025 | Tim = Tim Cowlishaw and Bill = Bill Plaschke, both panelists on the show |
| Call me, Ishmael. I've got a whale of a story. | Apr 8, 2025 | |
| We love you, Woody | Apr 1, 2025 | Since they are not getting a Halloween episode, they did it on April Fools. Sarah Spain was playing Woody. [pic] |
| Trying retirement. It's not working | Apr 1, 2025 | Since they are not getting a Halloween episode, they did it on April Fools. Sarah Spain was playing Woody. [pic] |
| April Fools me twice shame on me | Apr 1, 2025 | Since they are not getting a Halloween episode, they did it on April Fools. Sarah Spain was playing Woody. [pic] |
| If life gives you nothing but lemons drink limeade. | Mar 13, 2025 | |
| I'm a 2,956-hit wonder. | Mar 13, 2025 | |
| 2,956 shows without work-related injury except to my pride. | Mar 6, 2025 | |
| The best ATH panelists are those who say the least. | Mar 6, 2025 | |
| Opinion in this segment are like bread - wry and stale. | Feb 24, 2025 | |
| My eyes glazed over while looking at the donuts. | Feb 24, 2025 | |
| I just come here for the RC Cola and the Moon Pies. | Feb 21, 2025 | |
| Oh, yeah, Canada! | Feb 21, 2025 | |
| So glad we're no longer doing ATH from a bomb shelter. | Feb 13, 2025 | |
| Duct tape can't save Cowlishaw's opinions. | Feb 13, 2025 | Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show |
| Chalkboard offers | Feb 5, 2025 | |
| Pickleball addiction? | Feb 5, 2025 | |
| Today on ATH I will be performing my high wire act. | Jan 21, 2025 | |
| Tony can't figure me out. I don't come with instructions. | Jan 21, 2025 | |
| Sporting good companies | Jan 16, 2025 | |
| I must be in the front row | Jan 16, 2025 | |
| Back by demand. | Jan 10, 2025 | |
| Our ♥s go out to LA | Jan 10, 2025 | |
| We may be grumpy old men | Jan 8, 2025 | |
| Two panelists are in their 30s. The other two are from the 1940s. | Jan 8, 2025 | |
| I saw mommy kissing the appliance repair man. | Dec 12, 2024 | |
| Dear Santa, I can explain. Don't mute me. | Dec 12, 2024 | |
| I'm not ill. I'm just an in flu encer. | Dec 4, 2024 | |
| My parents had me when they were teenagers. What did you expect? | Dec 4, 2024 | |
| Today I'm so aggressive I'll surround the horn. | Nov 22, 2024 | |
| I have selective hearing. I've selected not to listen to Tony today. | Nov 22, 2024 | Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH |
| Where does the time go? | Nov 14, 2024 | |
| Ben Franklin was wrong. Early to bed, early to rise makes a man miss west coast NBA games. | Nov 14, 2024 | |
| I'm not ascending. I'm condescending. | Nov 6, 2024 | |
| I read the terms and conditions. Don't understand either. | Nov 6, 2024 | |
| My death has been a living hell | Oct 31, 2024 | [pic] |
| Betelgeuse | Oct 31, 2024 | [pic] |
| Raise your hand if you agree with me. Thanks to both of you. | Oct 25, 2024 | |
| It's getting late. Vote early. | Oct 25, 2024 | |
| Today I showed up too late to extrapolate. | Oct 18, 2024 | |
| Pedro-Woodrow. Yeah, that's the ticket. | Oct 18, 2024 | |
| With politicians speaking in Colorado today, could be sighting of aurora bore all us. | Oct 11, 2024 | |
| Hello Plaschke, my old friend. I've come to banter with you again. | Oct 11, 2024 | Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show |
| I'm polling way ahead in the state of confusion. | Oct 3, 2024 | |
| In high school I was voted least likely to succeed. They were right. | Oct 3, 2024 | |
| Emily & I agree the ampersand is a worthless symbol, eh. | Sep 27, 2024 | Emily = Emily Kaplan, another panelist on the show |
| I'm selling two-bit coins. | Sep 27, 2024 | |
| Text me when you get nowhere. | Sep 18, 2024 | |
| I'm threatening myself for stupidity. | Sep 18, 2024 | |
| I don't deserve being muted. | Aug 28, 2024 | |
| ATH Chairman of the bored back. | Aug 28, 2024 | |
| I'm not a common panelist. I'm a limited edition. | Jul 2, 2024 | |
| Pluto no longer classified as a planet or a dog. | Jul 2, 2024 | |
| \"Still haven't found what I'm looking for.\" Me too | Jun 28, 2024 | |
| 78 is the new 18. | Jun 28, 2024 | |
| Spent last three weeks as a minicamp counselor. | Jun 20, 2024 | |
| I've been on double secret mission. Can't say where. Mahalo. | Jun 20, 2024 | |
| I'm play scrabble; the others playing candy land. | May 21, 2024 | |
| At the end of the day | May 21, 2024 | |
| Why does butter have it's own compartment while ketchup must share? | May 20, 2024 | |
| broken heart | May 20, 2024 | [pic] |
| Producing podcast A.I. and AI - Allen Iverson and Artificial Intelligence. | May 3, 2024 | |
| I can do without your attitude. I have one of my own. | May 3, 2024 | |
| My 5th grade teacher taught you should think before speaking. I missed school that day. | Mar 28, 2024 | |
| My brain tells me I'm 31. My body tells me I'm brainless. | Mar 28, 2024 | |
| I'm auditioning to be superhero in movie "Cesspool." | Mar 20, 2024 | |
| Antelopes love the TV show "Around the Pronghorn." | Mar 20, 2024 | |
| On ATH I always extrapolate too late. | Mar 5, 2024 | |
| I left a nap on a cozy couch for this? | Mar 5, 2024 | |
| Just pretend I'm not here and you're not watching. | Feb 28, 2024 | |
| Whenever Tony talks I thnk "hmmm" and stop thinking. | Feb 28, 2024 | |
| Today is National Thinking Day, I think. | Feb 22, 2024 | |
| I put the fun in dysfunctional. | Feb 22, 2024 | |
| NFL has Swifties. NHL has Beliebers. Who wants the Paigers? | Feb 7, 2024 | |
| Who should win today? Ramona, Dennis, Tim, Spongewood Squarepants? | Feb 7, 2024 | |
| Fruita(co.) High School should nickname teams De Lumes. | Jan 31, 2024 | |
| College football team should have deodorant as nickname. Roll on, state. | Jan 31, 2024 | |
| Put nose on QR code | Jan 25, 2024 | [pic] |
| This is not a drill. | Jan 25, 2024 | [pic] |
| I speak two languages sarcasm and cynicism. | Jan 17, 2024 | |
| I mistakenly got on the treadmill holding scissors. | Jan 17, 2024 | |
| Installing mirrors is a job I could see myself doing. | Jan 10, 2024 | |
| Making cuddly teddy bears is a job that I can wrap my arms around. | Jan 10, 2024 | |
| Save your "Happy New Year" for next year or the year after. | Jan 3, 2024 | |
| My favorite dinosaur is the Thesaurous. It was mean, nasty and rude. | Jan 3, 2024 | |
| I'm considering charisma bypass surgery. | Dec 14, 2023 | |
| Tony, please explain the scoring system. Asking for 500,000 friends. | Dec 14, 2023 | |
| I'm living in a perpetual time warp. | Dec 7, 2023 | |
| I am slow to speak, but quick to not listen to Reali. | Dec 7, 2023 | Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH |
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
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