Woody’s Chalkboards (recent 100)
| Quip | Date | Note |
|---|---|---|
| I saw mommy kissing the appliance repair man. | Dec 12, 2024 | |
| Dear Santa, I can explain. Don't mute me. | Dec 12, 2024 | |
| I'm not ill. I'm just an in flu encer. | Dec 4, 2024 | |
| My parents had me when they were teenagers. What did you expect? | Dec 4, 2024 | |
| Today I'm so aggressive I'll surround the horn. | Nov 22, 2024 | |
| I have selective hearing. I've selected not to listen to Tony today. | Nov 22, 2024 | Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH |
| Where does the time go? | Nov 14, 2024 | |
| Ben Franklin was wrong. Early to bed, early to rise makes a man miss west coast NBA games. | Nov 14, 2024 | |
| I'm not ascending. I'm condescending. | Nov 6, 2024 | |
| I read the terms and conditions. Don't understand either. | Nov 6, 2024 | |
| My death has been a living hell | Oct 31, 2024 | [pic] |
| Betelgeuse | Oct 31, 2024 | [pic] |
| Raise your hand if you agree with me. Thanks to both of you. | Oct 25, 2024 | |
| It's getting late. Vote early. | Oct 25, 2024 | |
| Today I showed up too late to extrapolate. | Oct 18, 2024 | |
| Pedro-Woodrow. Yeah, that's the ticket. | Oct 18, 2024 | |
| With politicians speaking in Colorado today, could be sighting of aurora bore all us. | Oct 11, 2024 | |
| Hello Plaschke, my old friend. I've come to banter with you again. | Oct 11, 2024 | Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show |
| I'm polling way ahead in the state of confusion. | Oct 3, 2024 | |
| In high school I was voted least likely to succeed. They were right. | Oct 3, 2024 | |
| Emily & I agree the ampersand is a worthless symbol, eh. | Sep 27, 2024 | Emily = Emily Kaplan, another panelist on the show |
| I'm selling two-bit coins. | Sep 27, 2024 | |
| Text me when you get nowhere. | Sep 18, 2024 | |
| I'm threatening myself for stupidity. | Sep 18, 2024 | |
| I don't deserve being muted. | Aug 28, 2024 | |
| ATH Chairman of the bored back. | Aug 28, 2024 | |
| I'm not a common panelist. I'm a limited edition. | Jul 2, 2024 | |
| Pluto no longer classified as a planet or a dog. | Jul 2, 2024 | |
| \"Still haven't found what I'm looking for.\" Me too | Jun 28, 2024 | |
| 78 is the new 18. | Jun 28, 2024 | |
| Spent last three weeks as a minicamp counselor. | Jun 20, 2024 | |
| I've been on double secret mission. Can't say where. Mahalo. | Jun 20, 2024 | |
| I'm play scrabble; the others playing candy land. | May 21, 2024 | |
| At the end of the day | May 21, 2024 | |
| Why does butter have it's own compartment while ketchup must share? | May 20, 2024 | |
| broken heart | May 20, 2024 | [pic] |
| Producing podcast A.I. and AI - Allen Iverson and Artificial Intelligence. | May 3, 2024 | |
| I can do without your attitude. I have one of my own. | May 3, 2024 | |
| My 5th grade teacher taught you should think before speaking. I missed school that day. | Mar 28, 2024 | |
| My brain tells me I'm 31. My body tells me I'm brainless. | Mar 28, 2024 | |
| I'm auditioning to be superhero in movie "Cesspool." | Mar 20, 2024 | |
| Antelopes love the TV show "Around the Pronghorn." | Mar 20, 2024 | |
| On ATH I always extrapolate too late. | Mar 5, 2024 | |
| I left a nap on a cozy couch for this? | Mar 5, 2024 | |
| Just pretend I'm not here and you're not watching. | Feb 28, 2024 | |
| Whenever Tony talks I thnk "hmmm" and stop thinking. | Feb 28, 2024 | |
| Today is National Thinking Day, I think. | Feb 22, 2024 | |
| I put the fun in dysfunctional. | Feb 22, 2024 | |
| NFL has Swifties. NHL has Beliebers. Who wants the Paigers? | Feb 7, 2024 | |
| Who should win today? Ramona, Dennis, Tim, Spongewood Squarepants? | Feb 7, 2024 | |
| Fruita(co.) High School should nickname teams De Lumes. | Jan 31, 2024 | |
| College football team should have deodorant as nickname. Roll on, state. | Jan 31, 2024 | |
| Put nose on QR code | Jan 25, 2024 | [pic] |
| This is not a drill. | Jan 25, 2024 | [pic] |
| I speak two languages sarcasm and cynicism. | Jan 17, 2024 | |
| I mistakenly got on the treadmill holding scissors. | Jan 17, 2024 | |
| Installing mirrors is a job I could see myself doing. | Jan 10, 2024 | |
| Making cuddly teddy bears is a job that I can wrap my arms around. | Jan 10, 2024 | |
| Save your "Happy New Year" for next year or the year after. | Jan 3, 2024 | |
| My favorite dinosaur is the Thesaurous. It was mean, nasty and rude. | Jan 3, 2024 | |
| I'm considering charisma bypass surgery. | Dec 14, 2023 | |
| Tony, please explain the scoring system. Asking for 500,000 friends. | Dec 14, 2023 | |
| I'm living in a perpetual time warp. | Dec 7, 2023 | |
| I am slow to speak, but quick to not listen to Reali. | Dec 7, 2023 | Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH |
| A penny for Plaschke's thoughts seems pricey. | Nov 29, 2023 | Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show |
| I call Wednesdays "Chump Day" as reference to other panelists. | Nov 29, 2023 | |
| In school I flunked pig latin. Ancay ooyay elphay emay. | Nov 15, 2023 | |
| Coyote is faster than roadrunner. Wile E. was stupid. | Nov 15, 2023 | |
| My brain is full of movie quotes and song lyrics. | Nov 8, 2023 | |
| A cowboy cat saus "meowdy". | Nov 8, 2023 | |
| Trying to win this show is like dancing with my hands tied. Sad beautiful tragic. | Oct 31, 2023 | Woddy dressed as Taylor Swift |
| Errors tour concert today on ATH. | Oct 31, 2023 | Woddy dressed as Taylor Swift [pic] |
| I can repair all TVs. Unplug. Wait 15 seconds. Plug in again. Then repeat. | Oct 25, 2023 | |
| I just act like I'm listening to Plaschke. I'm thinking about dinner. | Oct 25, 2023 | Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panalist on the show |
| I do this show in a midieval oubliette. Please free me. | Oct 19, 2023 | sic [pic] |
| I begin each ATH show with a theorem proposition, but Tony can't handle the truth. | Oct 19, 2023 | Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH |
| Tony, let's make this swift. I have to get to my tailor. | Oct 11, 2023 | |
| Dodgers done like burnt dinner. | Oct 11, 2023 | |
| I prefer hot cakes and medium rare steaks to Tony's luke warm takes. | Oct 4, 2023 | |
| My superpower is is invisibility. You won't see me in showdown. | Oct 4, 2023 | [sic] on the two 'is' [pic] |
| ESPN Planning Special | Sep 28, 2023 | |
| Expert Dating Advice | Sep 28, 2023 | |
| I was fired as a waiter because I refused to take orders. | Sep 20, 2023 | |
| Mickey is a mouse. | Sep 20, 2023 | |
| Spoiler Alert! This show does end well. | Sep 14, 2023 | |
| Don't blame me. The producers yell in my ear the whole show. | Sep 14, 2023 | earpiece hanging over chalkboard [pic] |
| We don't have a second chalkboard. | Aug 28, 2023 | [pic] |
| I'm planning new app called Twooder. You can post Twoods. | Aug 28, 2023 | |
| I like when you read cold chalkboard takes. You get brain freeze. | Aug 4, 2023 | |
| If I were a triangle I would be a cute one. | Aug 4, 2023 | |
| I'm opening hokey pokey help center. You can turn yourself around. | Jul 28, 2023 | |
| Bigfoot awarded lifetime hide-and-seek achievement award. | Jul 28, 2023 | |
| Never shall Mark Twain and Shania Twain meet in a Vegas restaurant. | Jul 20, 2023 | |
| Want to build an ark? I Noah guy. | Jul 20, 2023 | |
| My favorite character in Asteroid City is Woodrow. | Jul 13, 2023 | |
| I'm not getting old. I'm busy becoming a legend. | Jul 13, 2023 | |
| Selfies mean nobody else wants to be in your photos. | Jul 6, 2023 | |
| I'm coming back hot today. Get out of the way. | Jul 6, 2023 | |
| I'm not useless. I can be used as a bad example. | Jun 23, 2023 | |
| You look totally stupid like that. | Jun 23, 2023 |
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
Advertisement