Quip |
Date |
Note |
I'm play scrabble; the others playing candy land. |
May 21, 2024 |
|
At the end of the day |
May 21, 2024 |
|
Why does butter have it's own compartment while ketchup must share? |
May 20, 2024 |
|
broken heart |
May 20, 2024 |
[pic] |
Producing podcast A.I. and AI - Allen Iverson and Artificial Intelligence. |
May 3, 2024 |
|
I can do without your attitude. I have one of my own. |
May 3, 2024 |
|
My 5th grade teacher taught you should think before speaking. I missed school that day. |
Mar 28, 2024 |
|
My brain tells me I'm 31. My body tells me I'm brainless. |
Mar 28, 2024 |
|
I'm auditioning to be superhero in movie "Cesspool." |
Mar 20, 2024 |
|
Antelopes love the TV show "Around the Pronghorn." |
Mar 20, 2024 |
|
On ATH I always extrapolate too late. |
Mar 5, 2024 |
|
I left a nap on a cozy couch for this? |
Mar 5, 2024 |
|
Just pretend I'm not here and you're not watching. |
Feb 28, 2024 |
|
Whenever Tony talks I thnk "hmmm" and stop thinking. |
Feb 28, 2024 |
|
Today is National Thinking Day, I think. |
Feb 22, 2024 |
|
I put the fun in dysfunctional. |
Feb 22, 2024 |
|
NFL has Swifties. NHL has Beliebers. Who wants the Paigers? |
Feb 7, 2024 |
|
Who should win today? Ramona, Dennis, Tim, Spongewood Squarepants? |
Feb 7, 2024 |
|
Fruita(co.) High School should nickname teams De Lumes. |
Jan 31, 2024 |
|
College football team should have deodorant as nickname. Roll on, state. |
Jan 31, 2024 |
|
Put nose on QR code |
Jan 25, 2024 |
[pic] |
This is not a drill. |
Jan 25, 2024 |
[pic] |
I speak two languages sarcasm and cynicism. |
Jan 17, 2024 |
|
I mistakenly got on the treadmill holding scissors. |
Jan 17, 2024 |
|
Installing mirrors is a job I could see myself doing. |
Jan 10, 2024 |
|
Making cuddly teddy bears is a job that I can wrap my arms around. |
Jan 10, 2024 |
|
Save your "Happy New Year" for next year or the year after. |
Jan 3, 2024 |
|
My favorite dinosaur is the Thesaurous. It was mean, nasty and rude. |
Jan 3, 2024 |
|
I'm considering charisma bypass surgery. |
Dec 14, 2023 |
|
Tony, please explain the scoring system. Asking for 500,000 friends. |
Dec 14, 2023 |
|
I'm living in a perpetual time warp. |
Dec 7, 2023 |
|
I am slow to speak, but quick to not listen to Reali. |
Dec 7, 2023 |
Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH |
A penny for Plaschke's thoughts seems pricey. |
Nov 29, 2023 |
Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show |
I call Wednesdays "Chump Day" as reference to other panelists. |
Nov 29, 2023 |
|
In school I flunked pig latin. Ancay ooyay elphay emay. |
Nov 15, 2023 |
|
Coyote is faster than roadrunner. Wile E. was stupid. |
Nov 15, 2023 |
|
My brain is full of movie quotes and song lyrics. |
Nov 8, 2023 |
|
A cowboy cat saus "meowdy". |
Nov 8, 2023 |
|
Trying to win this show is like dancing with my hands tied. Sad beautiful tragic. |
Oct 31, 2023 |
Woddy dressed as Taylor Swift |
Errors tour concert today on ATH. |
Oct 31, 2023 |
Woddy dressed as Taylor Swift [pic] |
I can repair all TVs. Unplug. Wait 15 seconds. Plug in again. Then repeat. |
Oct 25, 2023 |
|
I just act like I'm listening to Plaschke. I'm thinking about dinner. |
Oct 25, 2023 |
Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panalist on the show |
I do this show in a midieval oubliette. Please free me. |
Oct 19, 2023 |
sic [pic] |
I begin each ATH show with a theorem proposition, but Tony can't handle the truth. |
Oct 19, 2023 |
Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH |
Tony, let's make this swift. I have to get to my tailor. |
Oct 11, 2023 |
|
Dodgers done like burnt dinner. |
Oct 11, 2023 |
|
I prefer hot cakes and medium rare steaks to Tony's luke warm takes. |
Oct 4, 2023 |
|
My superpower is is invisibility. You won't see me in showdown. |
Oct 4, 2023 |
[sic] on the two 'is' [pic] |
ESPN Planning Special |
Sep 28, 2023 |
|
Expert Dating Advice |
Sep 28, 2023 |
|
I was fired as a waiter because I refused to take orders. |
Sep 20, 2023 |
|
Mickey is a mouse. |
Sep 20, 2023 |
|
Spoiler Alert! This show does end well. |
Sep 14, 2023 |
|
Don't blame me. The producers yell in my ear the whole show. |
Sep 14, 2023 |
earpiece hanging over chalkboard [pic] |
We don't have a second chalkboard. |
Aug 28, 2023 |
[pic] |
I'm planning new app called Twooder. You can post Twoods. |
Aug 28, 2023 |
|
I like when you read cold chalkboard takes. You get brain freeze. |
Aug 4, 2023 |
|
If I were a triangle I would be a cute one. |
Aug 4, 2023 |
|
I'm opening hokey pokey help center. You can turn yourself around. |
Jul 28, 2023 |
|
Bigfoot awarded lifetime hide-and-seek achievement award. |
Jul 28, 2023 |
|
Never shall Mark Twain and Shania Twain meet in a Vegas restaurant. |
Jul 20, 2023 |
|
Want to build an ark? I Noah guy. |
Jul 20, 2023 |
|
My favorite character in Asteroid City is Woodrow. |
Jul 13, 2023 |
|
I'm not getting old. I'm busy becoming a legend. |
Jul 13, 2023 |
|
Selfies mean nobody else wants to be in your photos. |
Jul 6, 2023 |
|
I'm coming back hot today. Get out of the way. |
Jul 6, 2023 |
|
I'm not useless. I can be used as a bad example. |
Jun 23, 2023 |
|
You look totally stupid like that. |
Jun 23, 2023 |
|
ATH should be two hours long because I talk slow. |
May 10, 2023 |
|
78 percent of adults are not smart. I'm amoung the other 34 percent. |
May 10, 2023 |
|
I'm the only genuis on this show. |
May 5, 2023 |
|
My favorite childhood memory is my back didn't hurt then. |
May 5, 2023 |
|
Sarcasm is a free service I provide to viewers. |
Apr 26, 2023 |
|
I lost my blue check mark and sunglasses. I miss my sunglasses. |
Apr 26, 2023 |
|
I'm as surprised as Tony by what comes out of my mouth. |
Apr 19, 2023 |
|
If you aren't named Alexa don't act like a know-it-all. |
Apr 19, 2023 |
|
Every mistake I make today is the result of getting out of bed. |
Apr 11, 2023 |
|
Rather than sending texts I prefer being condescending in person. |
Apr 11, 2023 |
|
I have nobody to blame but Clinton. |
Mar 31, 2023 |
Clinton = Clinton Yates, the host of ATH today |
Grogu is a nepo baby. |
Mar 31, 2023 |
|
You are not booing me at home watching the show. You are shouting "Woooooody". |
Mar 24, 2023 |
|
Other panelists think I act like I don't care what they say. It's not an act. |
Mar 24, 2023 |
|
I got this job because my father owns the Disney corporation. |
Mar 22, 2023 |
|
All my opinions are my own. ATH refuses to take responsibility for me. |
Mar 22, 2023 |
|
I'm about to break out today with ATH karaoke. |
Mar 8, 2023 |
|
I invented new Twitter game called Woodle. All guesses are correct. |
Mar 8, 2023 |
|
I was my shcool's champion in pick-up sticks. |
Feb 28, 2023 |
|
My SAT score in high school was below freezing. |
Feb 28, 2023 |
|
The late bird gets the worm because the early bird gets the buffet. |
Feb 24, 2023 |
|
I emerged today from being in the dark all week to do ATH |
Feb 24, 2023 |
|
Alexa: What am I doing here? |
Feb 17, 2023 |
|
Hello, Canada. I brought my eh game today for you. |
Feb 17, 2023 |
|
I'm an adult person. Sort of. |
Feb 1, 2023 |
|
I'd rather spend midnight at the oasis than be in the desert on a horse with no name. |
Feb 1, 2023 |
|
I won't be on ATH tomorrow because of load management. |
Jan 26, 2023 |
|
The one thing I can always count on are my fingers. |
Jan 26, 2023 |
|
I'm envious of people who have never met Frank. |
Jan 23, 2023 |
Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show |
Where was the 1981 Standord band when Cowboys needed it? |
Jan 23, 2023 |
|
Doing Around The Horn is dangerous. Don't try this at home. |
Jan 17, 2023 |
|
I want to appear on an alternative universe Arount The Horn |
Jan 17, 2023 |
|