The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs in it
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool
Where there’s a will, there’s a family fight over it
Give me 30 minutes and I’ll give you 5 of my best
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism
Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I feel like a doughnut

Note: It was National Doughnut Day

Men should always aim high. Then you won’t splash on your shoes.
If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Never hire a cleaning lady named Dusty.

Note: Woody announced that today’s chalkboard sayings were “submitted by a young man who is literally a captive audience.” Reali asked what that means and Woody responded, “He’s in prison.”

As I said before, I never repeat myself!
Stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Then: A keg
Now: An EKG

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

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