If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
To err is human, to forgive is not company policy
What does the winner of a “Best Trophy” competition get???
38% of people quit looking for work when they find a job
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed Up?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
If you don’t like the news, go out and make some
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
Bill: If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Note: Bill = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
The quarterback club? I’ll pass.
The Peter Pan Club? Never. Never.