Woody’s Chalkboards

New Program
Cash for spelunkers

Some people have a way with words, others not have way

Friction can be a drag sometimes

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

I wouldn’t touch the metric system with a 3.048m pole

Note: 3.048 meters is 10 feet.

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere

Karaoke is Japanese for “tone deaf”

Note: On a personal note, I hadn't seen/heard this one before. I guffawed and spilled water on myself when I read it.

A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago

My mind is like a steel trap—rusty and illegal in 37 states

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, don’t go to work

Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals”

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

When cheese get its picture taken, what does it say?

Note: His grammatical error, not mine. [pic]

Chatters more than a dolphin by a fish bucket

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success

Failure is not an option. It’s bundled with your software.

Here I am! What are your other two wishes

Note: He left off the question mark, not me. [pic]

Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician

About Woody’s Chalkboard