Woody’s Chalkboards

My plant died. My other plant photosympathized

I have a license to carry plastic straws

I used to make a fortune selling tires. Those were the goodyears

If you can read this see your ophthalmologist

Note: Written with squiggly letters [pic]

Stop me if you’ve seen this chalkboard before

I speak loudly and carry a big shtick

Tony, don’t make me stop this car

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

No showdown today. I’m late for early buffet discount

I’m about to put “out of order” sticker on forehead and leave ATH for weekend

Because I’m old had to put bar in shower. Fully stocked

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

I donut know what Krispy Kreme would do without glaze

Is Popeye’s chicken fried in olive oyl?

What if the early bird hates to eat worms?

You can stay on my lawn, but get off my back

Get off my lawn unless you want to mow it

Saw Imagine Dragons last night. Imagine how I’m draggin’ today

A hangover is the wrath of grapes

Does sneeze guard really make us feel better about buffet line?

I thought “Goodwill Hunting” meant me shopping for clothes

About Woody’s Chalkboard