Woody’s Chalkboards

At what age is it appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted

Taking a midnight swim in one of the great lakes would be a bit erie

In company meetings, turn off your phone and your mind

Velcro: A rip-off if you ask me

What a coincidence. My IQ and my golf handicap are the same

Frank S. Hola!

Ronda Rousey
Down and deFEETed

Tony went to Fordham; I went to Chevyham

There’s a “P” in ESPN for a reason. Hello!

There’s a reason you never see the producer

Do competitive origami artists fold under pressure?

Orion's belt is just a big waste of space
and time

A tree may not make a sound when it falls in the woods, but it sure leaves a mark

No one can hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom because the “P” is silent

ATH stands for "All time host."
Points Tony

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

After 13 years and 500 wins I think I deserve tenure.

Ways to Write Good
1. Be more or less specific.
2. Avoid alliteration, always.
Three. Be consistent.

Party at Frank’s house. He has his own pool…cue

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

I always run at the mouth of a river

I have only two rules:
valet parking
and
no salad bars

About Woody’s Chalkboard