Woody’s Chalkboards

I before E...
except when you run a feisty heist in a weird foreign neighborhood

If you ever question my intelligence, just remember there was no Google when I was in school

My fake plants are dead. I wish I would have pretended to water them.

Forget Rice-a-Roni; I’m the San Francisco treat

Not my last rodeo, but my last media bus ride

If the Panthers win, I’ll spend the night in Alcatraz

If the Broncos win, I’m painting the Golden Gate Bridge orange.

I’m setting up a table at interview night. Meeting is 25 cents

Tomorrow I’m escaping into Alcatraz

Camping is all in tents and purposes outside

Bill, the book I got you for Christmas is due back at the library today

Note: Bill = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show

Hedgehogs are rude. They never share the hedge.

I once auditioned to be a trumpeter, but I blew it

Early to bed,
early to rise,
means you can't
watch west coast games

Never give up on your dreams. Unless your dream is to be younger.

Math: The only place people buy 72 oranges and no one wonders why

A bizarre bazaar is a strange place to shop

Reali sits on paper towels. Mute me on the bounty.

Note: Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.

Loading an online shopping cart with $1.4 billion worth of random stuff takes a long time

Always give 100 percent. Unless you’re donating blood.

About Woody’s Chalkboard