May all of your worries last as long as your new years resolutions
If you order cottage cheese for dinner, do you order off the la curd menu
It’s still stationary no matter how far you push the envelope
The septic tank failed at the sausage shop. It was the wurst smell ever.
I’d tell you a joke about air conditioners, but you’re probably not a fan
Sloppy grey hair is better than slicked back hair or no hair
Sir Cumference was the most well rounded knight at Arthur’s round table
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned; couldn’t concentrate
I was messing around during the conference call today. I hope today is a hail mary.
With great power comes great electricity bill
Urology department, can I put you on hold?
I always play mega dimes. Big winner yesterday; 80 cents
A guy just threw a glass of milk at me. How dairy?
I’ve worn makeup on TV for 13 years; now I just wear it all the time
If I score 80 points today, I will dedicate my win to 2006 Kobe