Woody’s Chalkboards

Boycott sham-poo! Demand the real-poo!

I substitute fast reflexes for good manners.

When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

If you are truthful, you will have as much gold as you want.

I can never tell when I run out of invisible chal

I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

I’ve got a problem for your solution.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

I don’t like me, either.

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

Two horses in a man costume.

Spoiler alert: Cowlishaw is first cut.

Note: Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show. Woody was first cut.

The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.

Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again.

The next time you think you’re perfect, try walking on water.

About Woody’s Chalkboard