Woody’s Chalkboards

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Cowlishaw didn’t like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

Note: Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Ham + Eggs
A day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.

If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Show me an ATH loser, and I’ll show you Bill Plaschkey

Note: Bill Plaschkey is another panelist on ATH.

Today!
Woody Paige unplugged

Humans are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.

Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family in another city.

Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

Beauty is a light switch away…

There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.

Donuts: Is there anything they can’t do?

The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole.

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