Woody’s Chalkboards

Warning:
Mouth operates faster than brain.

Somedays you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

Medicine is the best medicine

Never forget

An unemployed court jester is nobody’s fool.

Now that I know all the answers, nobody ask me any questions.

A circle is divided into 400 grads.

Note: Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now.

400 is the square of 20.

Note: Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now.

400 is a Harshad Number

Note: Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now, and yes, 400 is a Harshad Number.

What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous”

Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?

I went from liking Air Supply to needing air supply.

Someone said I sound like an owl.
(wait for it)
Who?

I’m available for 4 difficult payments of: $19.99

salt + pepper to taste
1-2 jiggers tequila "top shelf"
1 tbs mexican hot sauce
secret ingredient:
1 tbs mayo (don't tell)

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3 ripe avacodos [sic]
1 tbs lemon juice
1/2 small sweet onion
1 ripe roma tomato
2 serrano peppers
chopped cilantro
(more to come - I hope)

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Coming up:
by popular demand, Woody's world famous superbowl guac. (get a pen)

About Woody’s Chalkboard