Woody’s Chalkboards

I used to have hatred of speed bumps, but I’ve gotten over it

ESPN survey proved I’m most popular commentator amoung zombies

Ramona’s favorite band is The Ramones

Note: Romona = Romona Shelburne, another panelist on the show

I love mimes, but that goes without saying

I am overrated, but don’t underestimate me

Best sign I saw on vacation was at Dairy Queen: “Out of ice cream.”

I will be 75 Sunday. That sure came too soon

Today I beat the O’jays - Jackie, J.A., Jorge. Forever mine

Note: Jackie = Jackie MacMullan; J.A. = J.A. Adande; Jorge = Jorge Sedano. The other panelists on the show

Don’t worry Frank I’ll help you

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, the host of this episode

Went to trampoline park today. Bouncer wouldn’t let me in

Diner out of my favorite dish. No parm, no fowl

During ATH today I’d rather talk to myself than these 4 losers

I didn’t sign up for 401K. I can’t run that far

Stolen blackboard returned.
Suspect Name: M.A. Lee

Changing my name to Gaggle. I know nothing

Wile E. didn’t realize real coyotes are 20 MPH faster than roadrunners

Hey, Siri, get Tony Reali off my back

I don’t sugarcoat opinions. I’m not Willy Wonka or Emily

Note: Emily = Emily Kaplan, another panelist on the show

Don’t text me until you reach Xanadu

Bono and The Edge enter pub. Bartender says “Oh, it’s just U2 again

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