Over 5,000 chalkboards served
This is my 2,800th ATH. What a waste of a promising life
I told my dentist “You can’t handle the tooth”
Panel, let’s tank so Tim can get mercy win for No. 500
Note: Tim = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, so I plan to make many more
My goal in 2021 was to lose 20 pounds. Only 32 pounds to go
During the commercial break I change the channel on my monitor
I had a lot of stuff to do today. I may get to it tomorrow
I can’t seem to complete my thoughts today about
My actual results may vary
If you don’t like watching me that’s fine. I get paid anyway
My sarcasm doesn’t work well with stupid people. Are you getting my sarcasm?
I’m making the world a better place one blackboard quote at a time
I don’t take orders from Tony and the producer. I am not DoorDash
I live to take long, romantic walks to the fridge
Self-satisfaction is word bosses use to get you to work for free
I visited a fireplug factory. Nowhere to park
Want my olympicks? Be my paypal
I used to have hatred of speed bumps, but I’ve gotten over it
ESPN survey proved I’m most popular commentator amoung zombies