Woody’s Chalkboards

I’d give up chocolate, but I’m no quitter.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1912

I will attack you like a squirrel monkey

Note: Woody: "This is me without my makeup and toupee." [pic]

I’m addicted to 2 things: boys & bronzer

Note: Woody was dressed as two characters from "The Jersey Shore".

Eating fried pickles changed my life

Note: Woody was dressed as a member of the Red Sox. [pic]

Forget the ghosts...
Beware of me!

Just hanging out with my ghoul friends

I am fluent in 3 different languages:
1) English
2) Sarcasm
3) Profanity

Be careful, or you’ll end up in my novel.

I am not arrogant. I’m just a lot better than you.

Epic fail

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.

I'm not completely useless...
I can be used as a bad example

A monkey could do this job, but I was here first.

Fantasy football legend

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.

I’ll bet you $500 I don’t have a gambling problem

Cancel my subscription, I’m tired of your issues.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
(I hate rhyming)
Cacti are green

If you can read this, you’re within roundhouse kick range.

Back in my day we had 7 planets

Warning

If zombies chase us, I'm tripping you.

About Woody’s Chalkboard