Woody’s Chalkboards

I just wish my mouth had a backspace key.

I’ve got what it takes, but nobody wants it.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

New game plan…cancel it

Here’s an idea…uh…I forgot

I’ve only met four perfect people in my life and I didn’t like any of them

I wouldn’t do volunteer work if they paid me.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is sad.

Buses travel faster when you’re outside running after them.

If you can remain calm, you just don’t have all the facts.

I’ve got a problem for your solution

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it

If you don’t believe in love at first sight, should I walk by again?

Don’t be so humble. You’re not that great.

There are no stupid questions; except the ones on this show.

I’m as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent

“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give Plaschke

The best substitute for brains is mute!

The name is Pronounced “Novitzki,” “Dawid Stern”

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