Woody’s Chalkboards

The voices in my head talk to each other, not to me

I have invented the hair fryer. No oil. Only problem is sticking my head in it

I’ve never missed a field goal or a penalty call

Paige. Drow Paige.
No time to diet

I am a
visionary

My friend bet me $5 I wouldn’t wear this shirt today on TV

I once dated Mona Lisa. Made her smile

Alexa, tell me the numbers that will win Powerball this week

Follow me on Twitter. I know a shortcut

I didn’t go to gym today for the 14,863rd straight day

Note: 14,863 days = 40+ years

Do we really need directions on shampoo bottle?

In elementary school I was voted most likely to not go to high school

Candy corn and spam have same expiration.
Never

I will be holding fundraiser while in line at gas pump

Over 5,000 chalkboards served

This is my 2,800th ATH. What a waste of a promising life

I told my dentist “You can’t handle the tooth”

Panel, let’s tank so Tim can get mercy win for No. 500

Note: Tim = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show

I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, so I plan to make many more

My goal in 2021 was to lose 20 pounds. Only 32 pounds to go

About Woody’s Chalkboard