Woody’s Chalkboards

Never mess up an apology with an excuse

Tony is not learning a whole lot while his mouth is moving

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

I just got skylights put into my place. The people above me are furious.

A good pun is its own reword

Tony should be issued a Woody-to-English dictionary

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

Cowlishaw is like a broken clock; correct twice a day

Note: Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show.

Alliterations are always absolutely asinine

I deserve a bye into the showdown

The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are always from Earth.

I have many, many moot mute points

My two cents is worth a fortune in your currency

ATH would get higher ratings if I were the only panelist

Do I get double points for my split personality?

Here’s some good advice: Never take my advice

I want to ask and answer my own questions

Big words don’t scare me; using them does

I use a stunt man for the tough questions

Big words don’t scare me; using them does

I speak 3 languages fluently. English is not one of them.

I have fan clubs in all 53 states and Texas

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