My mind not only wanders, it sometimes totally disappears
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers turned on high
At my age, the happy hour is a nap
To write with a broken pencil is pointless
A plateau is a high form of flattery
The older I get, the better I was.
When in doubt, do what I do, mumble.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Who copyrighted the copyright system?
If you put “the” and “IRS” together, it spells “theirs”
Poets have been curiously silent about cheese
In case of emergency, speak in cliches.
Bad breath is better than no breath at all
Handkerchief:
Cold storage
What do you call bears without ears? “B”?
Appreciate me now, and avoid the rush.
Don’t worry about gift suggestions for Plaschke. He gets a toupee.
What should I get Tony for the holidays?
wpaige@denverpost.com
My whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
To err is human, to arr is pirate
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
Advertisement