Money can’t buy everything, but then again, neither can no money
Who am I calling stupid? Good question, what’s your name?
If stupidity was music, this show would be the band
I bought some powdered water but don’t know what to add
My watch is 2 hours fast, and I can’t fix it, so I’m moving back to NYC
I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes…
Mother said there would be days like this, but she didn’t say there would be a decade
I like to leave messages before the beep
I talk to myself a lot, and it bothers other people because I use a megaphone
Not afraid of heights; afraid of widths
How come “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
Eat 1 live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day
I used to be a proofreader for a skywriting company
He lost a button hole
Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.
The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist
When I put my ear to a conch shell, I hear ATH
I have a large seashell collection, which I keep on beaches all over the world
Money doesn’t talk; it goes without saying