Mother said there would be days like this, but she didn’t say there would be a decade
I like to leave messages before the beep
I talk to myself a lot, and it bothers other people because I use a megaphone
Not afraid of heights; afraid of widths
How come “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
Eat 1 live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day
I have a map of the U.S. that's life-sized
1 mile = 1 mile
I used to be a proofreader for a skywriting company
The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist
When I put my ear to a conch shell, I hear ATH
I have a large seashell collection, which I keep on beaches all over the world
Money doesn’t talk; it goes without saying
Judge:
A law student who marks his own papers
Legend:
A lie that has the dignity of age
Historian: An unsuccessful novelist
That’s a nice suit Tony. Who shines it for you?
Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.
If stupidity was music, I’d be a one man band
National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support
98% of the time I’m right. Why worry about the other half?
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is a list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008, and concluded when the show ended on May 25, 2025. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
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