Woody’s Chalkboards

Accountant: Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing

Beware the fury of the patient panelist

No matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who knew it would

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right

Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other

Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing

If at first you don’t succeed, get a job on this show

If at first you don’t succeed, try management

If at first you don’t succeed, QUIT

If you want to know the value of money try to borrow some

You’re stressed when you can hear mimes

To err is human. To admit it isn’t.

I asked my assistant to take a letter. He picked “R”.

Of course I don’t look busy, I got it right the first time.

I installed my DVR myself. Now I get movies on my vaccum.

Too much love is not even enough

He’s really tough. He went to reform school on scholarship.

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.

Don’t let your mind wander. It’s too small to be let out alone.

I walk everywhere for my health but I never find it

I never repeat gossip, so you better listen the first time

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