Woody’s Chalkboards

Don’t rush me, I’m making mistakes as fast as I can

Don’t you just hate rhetorical questions?

Note: During the introductions, Woody held up three blackboards and said, “Here’s the secret…just like Lassie, we have four blackboards”. [pic]

The facts, though interesting, are irrelevant

No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message

It’s gonna be like threading a needle with a haystack

People laugh because I’m different, I laugh because they’re all the same

Math problems? Call 0800-[(12x)(-y3)]-xy2.3

I don’t get even, I get odder.

Me a skeptic? I hope you have proof

Note: Due to a power problem, my DVR wasn’t able to record ATH. Thanks to Jiayi for sending this to me.

Before they invented ESPN, what was the purpose of sports bar?

Note: Due to a power problem, my DVR wasn’t able to record ATH. Thanks to Jiayi for sending this to me.

Before they invented blackboards, where did they write sayings?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Men are from Earth.
Women are from Earth.
Deal with it.

Bald Eagle:
Large bird too vain to buy a hairpiece

Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesday?

Loved by FEW
Hated by MANY
Feared by ALL

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]

Driveway: Where you park

Parkway: Where you drive</p>

Why is the building at the airport called “terminal”?

Why are they called buildings when they’re already built?

Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

About Woody’s Chalkboard