I am logged in, therefore I am

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Danny Connor, Matt Marino, Notorious BID, Meester Fonnyboy, Stephan Valis, Vehement Kabullseye Salmon

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is badify: To make something worse

hAS aNYONE sEEN mY cAPSLOCK kEY?

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Jackie’s all you can eat pasta and mullanara sauce $3.99

Give blood—play hockey

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Corey Rich, Nicholas N., Don’t Trade Vinny, Cagney Guttilla, Rhymin Ryan, JG, James McKinnie, Frank Tyler, Chad Hyde, Collin Leadbeater

Don’t confuse me with facts, my mind’s already cluttered enough!

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is Gaudy: See Vegas, Las.

Air pollution is a mist-demeaner

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Oysters Rockefeller ala Cowlisauce

Archaeologists will date any old thing

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Joseph Laguerre, Dan Salvetti, Mark Wood, Matt Rolder, Bob Ballou, Bryan Larson, Tarique Mansur

Your lucky numbers are 1, 7, 19, 27, 30

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is word-out: a way to mark the end of a conversation

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Adande lounge crockpot sour stroganoff

Who put a stop payment on my reality check?

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Steven Anderson, Bryan Legal, Zohaib Saeed, Heather Hyde, Jason Fitzgerald, Billy Fisher, Brian Anthony Carr, Dallin Finlinson

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: cheesy potato au gra-Tim

Worship me and we’ll get along just fine

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Brian Davis, Shantiece Bridges, Football Diner, Apolo Ohno, happy bday Fred Biletnikoff

My job is so secret - even I don’t know what it is

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is yupscale: affluent in a hip way

Bottomless pit of needs and wants

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Gene’s all you can eat meatless slop buffet

All life’s answers are on this show

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Herbie Montemayor, Eric Wright, Chris Peek, Elliot Stranger, Happy 60th bday Julius Erving

My 30 seconds next!

Note: Woody did not win.

Digital Scroller: twitter.com/woodypaige

A pessimist is never disappointed

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is hippinese: the dialect of hippies

Adult child of alien invaders

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Cowlishaw’s secret jellied moose nose

I got street crud

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Jason Floyd, Kyle Wilkerson, Harry Mumane, Chris Ost, Evan Lysacek, Brian Boitano, Carmelo Anthony

The next American idle

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Woody’s famous rocky mountain oysters

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