ESP-N programming for psychics

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Kenny Lyle, Mike Meservey, Doug Deutsch, Alan McNally, Kwame Nkrumah Acheampong

Reali: Support your local search and rescue—get lost!

Note: Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

Digital Scroller: twitter.com/woodypaige

Today’s subliminal message is:

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Nathan McQuary, Jeremy Smith, Tyler Metzger, DC/MD/VA

The best things in life are duty-free

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Jimmy Delach, Michael Huntley, Noah Ai, Kelly McGuire, Roberto Luongo, Matt De Caire, Javis Varnado

I plead contemporary insanity

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is beardo: A weirdo with a beard

I am not a pessimist, but my future looks bleak

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Tony’s adobo dry rub personality

Stop illitrissy now!

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Niels Neeskens, Daniel Gonzales, Jordon Angstadt, Chris Torrens, Nick Seatons, Resurrection Boys, Manny and Diane

Hire a teenager now—while he still knows everything

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Veal Jayccata with Garlic bruisechetta

I am logged in, therefore I am

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Danny Connor, Matt Marino, Notorious BID, Meester Fonnyboy, Stephan Valis, Vehement Kabullseye Salmon

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is badify: To make something worse

hAS aNYONE sEEN mY cAPSLOCK kEY?

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Jackie’s all you can eat pasta and mullanara sauce $3.99

Give blood—play hockey

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Corey Rich, Nicholas N., Don’t Trade Vinny, Cagney Guttilla, Rhymin Ryan, JG, James McKinnie, Frank Tyler, Chad Hyde, Collin Leadbeater

Don’t confuse me with facts, my mind’s already cluttered enough!

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is Gaudy: See Vegas, Las.

Air pollution is a mist-demeaner

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Oysters Rockefeller ala Cowlisauce

Archaeologists will date any old thing

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Joseph Laguerre, Dan Salvetti, Mark Wood, Matt Rolder, Bob Ballou, Bryan Larson, Tarique Mansur

Your lucky numbers are 1, 7, 19, 27, 30

Digital Scroller: Word of the day is word-out: a way to mark the end of a conversation

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: Adande lounge crockpot sour stroganoff

Who put a stop payment on my reality check?

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Steven Anderson, Bryan Legal, Zohaib Saeed, Heather Hyde, Jason Fitzgerald, Billy Fisher, Brian Anthony Carr, Dallin Finlinson

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Digital Scroller: Early bird special: cheesy potato au gra-Tim

Worship me and we’ll get along just fine

Digital Scroller: Shout-out to: Brian Davis, Shantiece Bridges, Football Diner, Apolo Ohno, happy bday Fred Biletnikoff

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