A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other
Mariotti is the head elf
Note: Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show.
Quip: Dear Santa,
I can explain...
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobics
Fish and Christmas visitors smell in 3 days
Santa Claus has the right idea—visit people only once a year
An xmas shopper’s complaint is one that’s long-standing
Xmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money
Xmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home
One thing I can give and still keep: My word
I should keep my words soft and sweet in case I have to eat them
Two words: show cowdown
Patience is a virtue, it’s a waste of time
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying
It’s good to be clever, but not to show it
Speak softly and carry a big stick, you will go far
Man who runs behind car is exhausted
Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee
Sports do not build character. They reveal it.
Be of use, but don’t be used
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
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