Woody’s Chalkboards

Be patient. I’ll be eliminated from the show at the end of this segment

My winning percentage on ATH is above the Mendoza Line. Barely

If I can’t convince you I will confuse you

I chalk up my blackboard inadequacy to poor potty training

My kitchen doesn’t have any unhealthy snacks…I’ve eaten them all

Dias sailed around the horn. I assail Around The Horn

When I awoke today I didn’t expect to be this witty and charming

I still don’t get Reali’s scoring system and fashion statement

Note: Reali = Tony Reali, that host of ATH

There’s no “we” in M&M’s. Don’t even ask

I’m not responsible for the faces I make when Sarah talks

Note: Sarah = Sarah Spain, another panelist on the show

I’m in a good place in life. Sitting near buffet line

I can’t even get the voices in my head to talk to me

Happy Hour should last about 300 minutes

Shoutout to Kevin Love, Bobby Valentine, Ron Darling, Bret Hart, Candy Maldonado

Put a dollar in the change machine, but I’m still the same

I don’t know how to act my age. I’m not an actor

Reali treats me like AA batteries. I’m never included

For Valentine’s Day I’m sending telekinetic gifts. It’s the thought that counts

Everybody wants to see “my name” on the blackboard. “My Name”

Nothing to see here today. Move on to Woody’s face

About Woody’s Chalkboard