Woody’s Chalkboards

Happy Hour should last about 300 minutes

Shoutout to Kevin Love, Bobby Valentine, Ron Darling, Bret Hart, Candy Maldonado

Put a dollar in the change machine, but I’m still the same

I don’t know how to act my age. I’m not an actor

Reali treats me like AA batteries. I’m never included

For Valentine’s Day I’m sending telekinetic gifts. It’s the thought that counts

Everybody wants to see “my name” on the blackboard. “My Name”

Nothing to see here today. Move on to Woody’s face

Glued my eyes shut. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it

Getting you forget-me-nots for valentine’s. Please remind me

My favorite times of every day, hands down, are 6:30

It’s unfair that you can mute me with your remote, too

I’ve always wanted to be a monk, but got no chance

I’ve just been voted to Hall of Mediocre (unanimously)

Kindergarten cop got me for resisting a rest

I miss NFL Runnerup Bowl. Titans-Packers? Who you got?

Should I talk about sodium today? Na

Math wiz daughter explained infinity to me. She went on forever

I prefer monorails. I have a one-track mind

When Tony speaks Akkadian, he does like to Babylon

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