Woody’s Chalkboards

Parallel parking tip:
Park somewhere else

I offer you opinions for free. Offer void in states where prohibited

Tony says I need professional help. OK. Chef, driver, housekeeper

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

All my bills say “outstanding”. Glad I’m good at something

Baseball playoffs should be in mornings. I could stay up for extra innings

My proverb:
Rush hour drivers in hurry to get home and do nothing

Go big or go home? I can’t take a nap at big

When I need something, I can’t find it. When I find it, I don’t need it

I used to sow wild oats. Today I ate shredded wheat

I don’t like redundancies. They are repetitive

In Hawaii I go fat-dipping

If you don’t like my opinions, fill out the proper forms

We are not in Kansas anymore, Toto

I blessed the rains down in Africa - Toto

Pros and cons of cooking:
Pros - The food
Cons - The cooking

Three hardest things to say:
I need help.
I’m sorry.
Worcestershire sauce.

Clerk said I needed more change. I told him I can’t

I have a fear of giants. Feefiphobia

Today’s show has all the earmarks of an eyesore

I think I can hear myself think

About Woody’s Chalkboard