Woody’s Chalkboards

Buying Powerball tickets is my retirement plan

If you have to choose between bacon and being skinny, do you choose applewood?

I don’t take the Rockies for granite

I’m having people over for dinner. They asked what they could bring. I said “dinner”

I want to spend the rest of my life laughing

My family’s menu had two choices:
take it or leave it

I dream of falling off a cliff. I wake up on the floor

I’m a non-profit operation, but not by choice

Am I the only one who kicks dropped ice under the fridge?

Bored by chalk brackets?
Chalkboard ♡s it!

Cold? Sit in a corner. It’s 90 degrees

People who think they know everything annoy the rest of us who do

I wanted Fairleigh Dickinson to play Harley Davidson

Policeman asked where I was between 5 and 6.
Kindergarten

I do cross-fit. Cross my fingers and hope my pants fit

At my church the bishop moves diagonally

What hair color does K.B. put on his driver’s license? N/A

Note: K.B. = Kevin Blackistone, another panelist on the show

Friday I tweeted:
N@tv err fffn@gf
Try to break the code

In terms of computers, a Dell makes the best music

Despite what you think, I don’t put a lampshade on my head at parties and talk sports

About Woody’s Chalkboard