Woody’s Chalkboards

I don’t follow instructions. I didn’t come here to read

I dreamed I had insomnia. Woke up and couldn’t sleep

Colorado has been voted fifth best state. Need a clue why?

I’m trying to find “ATH - The Lost Episodes”

My studio is the size of a water closet. Without a toilet

I keep my friends close, Reali in New York

Note: Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

Stand by for my exit velocity

I have a new launch angle to try on Tony

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

If a stranger sits next to you, say: “Did you bring the money?”

I always thought it would take a lot longer to get to 73

I asked a bank clerk to check my balance. He pushed me over

In my defense I was left unsupervised as a child

My grocery list today:

It’s not a sport if you ride in a cart, drink, eat, smoke and lie about your score

Miss White just left Colonel Mustard for Professor Plum. No clue why

If you get a call you don’t want, say: “Hello, you’re on the air”

I didn’t fall. I was checking to see if gravity works

Never say “It goes without saying,” then say it

I don’t argue with Sarah. I just mentor her on how to be right

Note: Sarah = Sarah Spain, another panelist on the show

I didn’t know you award points at home. I shouldn’t have been told

About Woody’s Chalkboard