Woody’s Chalkboards

I do cross-fit. Cross my fingers and hope my pants fit

At my church the bishop moves diagonally

What hair color does K.B. put on his driver’s license? N/A

Note: K.B. = Kevin Blackistone, another panelist on the show

Friday I tweeted:
N@tv err fffn@gf
Try to break the code

In terms of computers, a Dell makes the best music

Despite what you think, I don’t put a lampshade on my head at parties and talk sports

My favorite email categories are spam and eggs

I mix olive oil with kale. Easier to scrape kale into the trash can

I’m a hip-hop artist. I do paintings of rabbits

I have one word of advice for you: bohemianrhapsody

Yesterday I took two laps around the gym. I might go in tomorrow

The last time I was somebody’s type, I was donating blood

Dear A. B.:
Call me Mr. Big Mouth

My daughter thinks I have a real job

I have two words for you. Two words

I burned 2,000 calories yesterday. Left the brownies in the oven too long

I can keep a secret. The people I tell it to can’t

I want to go to another planet and make circles in their crops

Chillin’ with my gnomies

Note: Drawn pic of a garden gnome [pic]

If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

About Woody’s Chalkboard