Woody’s Chalkboards

My favorite email categories are spam and eggs

I mix olive oil with kale. Easier to scrape kale into the trash can

I’m a hip-hop artist. I do paintings of rabbits

I have one word of advice for you: bohemianrhapsody

Yesterday I took two laps around the gym. I might go in tomorrow

The last time I was somebody’s type, I was donating blood

Dear A. B.:
Call me Mr. Big Mouth

My daughter thinks I have a real job

I have two words for you. Two words

I burned 2,000 calories yesterday. Left the brownies in the oven too long

I can keep a secret. The people I tell it to can’t

I want to go to another planet and make circles in their crops

Chillin’ with my gnomies

Note: Drawn pic of a garden gnome [pic]

If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

I started Pita. I want to protect all breads

I had lunch with a vegan. Let’s meat again

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you

I talk to myself before ATH. I need expert advice

Thesaurus favorite “Wizard of Oz” character? Antonym

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? Synonym rolls

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