I’m about to break out today with ATH karaoke.
I invented new Twitter game called Woodle. All guesses are correct.
I was my shcool’s champion in pick-up sticks.
My SAT score in high school was below freezing.
The late bird gets the worm because the early bird gets the buffet.
I emerged today from being in the dark all week to do ATH

What am I doing here?

Hello, Canada. I brought my eh game today for you.

I’m an adult person.
Sort of.

I’d rather spend midnight at the oasis than be in the desert on a horse with no name.

I won’t be on ATH tomorrow because of load management.
&emdash; William Paris

The one thing I can always count on are my fingers.
&emdash; Michael Carmellini

I’m envious of people who have never met Frank.

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

Where was the 1981 Standord band when Cowboys needed it?
Doing Around The Horn is dangerous. Don’t try this at home.
I want to appear on an alternative universe Arount The Horn

I promised I would fix it, and I will.

Life is too short for cheap wine, cheap toilet paper and cheap men.
Hey, McCarthy, The Wizards lost 10 straight.
In 1555 Nostradamus predicted I would win ATH today.
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