I can’t even get the voices in my head to talk to me
Happy Hour should last about 300 minutes
Shoutout to Kevin Love, Bobby Valentine, Ron Darling, Bret Hart, Candy Maldonado
Put a dollar in the change machine, but I’m still the same
I don’t know how to act my age. I’m not an actor
Reali treats me like AA batteries. I’m never included
For Valentine’s Day I’m sending telekinetic gifts. It’s the thought that counts
Everybody wants to see “my name” on the blackboard. “My Name”
Nothing to see here today. Move on to Woody’s face
Glued my eyes shut. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it
Getting you forget-me-nots for valentine’s. Please remind me
My favorite times of every day, hands down, are 6:30
It’s unfair that you can mute me with your remote, too
I’ve always wanted to be a monk, but got no chance
I’ve just been voted to Hall of Mediocre (unanimously)
Kindergarten cop got me for resisting a rest
I miss NFL Runnerup Bowl. Titans-Packers? Who you got?
Should I talk about sodium today? Na
Math wiz daughter explained infinity to me. She went on forever
I prefer monorails. I have a one-track mind
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