I’m getting so old Santa looks young
Have a very merry cherry Eric Berry Christmas
You don’t appreciate something until it’s gone. For instance, toilet paper
My mind believes I’m 25. My humor suggests I’m 11. My body thinks I’m dead
To me, 72 is the new 40. 8:40 is the new midnight
Pack your junk in Amazon boxes and put on front porch. It’ll be gone today
I found something in my closet from 20 years ago that still fits. Scarf
When your doctor puts on rubber gloves, you do it, too
My toe’s only function is to hit furniture
If you’re buying Smart Water, it’s not working
Geologist Charles Darwin was a rock star
I’m not a mad scientist. I’m a PO’ed panelist
(Insert your own quote. I’m tired of doing it for you)
I’m allowed to by hypocritical, but you’re not
Who invented the asterisk?
Aristarchus*
*Me
“I” before “E” except after “C”. Scientists disagree
I thought about cutting my sodium intake but I was like, na
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do
I am the most humble guy you’ll ever meet
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
Advertisement