Woody’s Chalkboards

I’m no good at math. Go figure

Was fired by cement company, but wasn’t given a concrete reason

Dreamed last night I ate a pillow. Woke up with cotton mouth

When playing in Canada you have to bring eh game

If 3 of 4 people suffer with cavities, does the other enjoy them?

I shot my age in golf on my birthday. I quit after 12 holes

Because a broker invested my money I’m broker

Electrician sent me a bill for $2,000. I was shocked

Boomerang I threw yesterday hasn’t come back. I’m scared

National Pirate Day! Willie St-aargh-ell my favorite

I just bought a reversible jacket. Let’s see how this turns out

First on my bucket list is a new bucket

Gave Tony gluestick instead of chapstick. He won’t talk to me

Tony asks some ridiculous questions. Right up my alley

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH

I threw a rock 5,280 feet. That’s a real milestone

I’m an awful mind reader. Telepathetic

I’m going for 5,000 shows on my 99th birthday

2,500th ATH appearance. First one seems like only 17 years ago

I detest peer pressure. You must, too

Takes me four times to insert USB right side up

About Woody’s Chalkboard