Woody’s Chalkboards

The older I get, the earlier it gets late

Just bought some Halloween candy that won’t make it to Halloween

I like Switzerland’s flag

I called a psychic for an interview. He said I won’t show up

Why buy a bed when it’s so easy to fall asleep on a sofa?

Smoke detectors batteries always die and squeak at 3 A.M.

I like extra fries more than exercise

I favor exorcism over exercise

I’m no good at math. Go figure

Was fired by cement company, but wasn’t given a concrete reason

Dreamed last night I ate a pillow. Woke up with cotton mouth

When playing in Canada you have to bring eh game

If 3 of 4 people suffer with cavities, does the other enjoy them?

I shot my age in golf on my birthday. I quit after 12 holes

Because a broker invested my money I’m broker

Electrician sent me a bill for $2,000. I was shocked

Boomerang I threw yesterday hasn’t come back. I’m scared

National Pirate Day! Willie St-aargh-ell my favorite

I just bought a reversible jacket. Let’s see how this turns out

First on my bucket list is a new bucket

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