Woody’s Chalkboards

I threw a rock 5,280 feet. That’s a real milestone

I’m an awful mind reader. Telepathetic

I’m going for 5,000 shows on my 99th birthday

2,500th ATH appearance. First one seems like only 17 years ago

I detest peer pressure. You must, too

Takes me four times to insert USB right side up

Kate Fagan 5-9 Guard Colorado Buffs’ Record 3-pointers

Note: Pic of Kate Fagan (another panelist on the show) playing basketball [pic]

Sarcasm is an acquired art form

Good thing my phone is smart. I’m not

I have a lot on my plate. Not busy. Just hungry.

Any port in a storm. Any porta-potty at a concert

I need new friend. I’m down to none

Memo to J.D. the ATH director: Nobody wants to see my pores

Why question the intentions of a road-crossing chicken?

My plant died. My other plant photosympathized

I have a license to carry plastic straws

I used to make a fortune selling tires. Those were the goodyears

If you can read this see your ophthalmologist

Note: Written with squiggly letters [pic]

Stop me if you’ve seen this chalkboard before

I speak loudly and carry a big shtick

About Woody’s Chalkboard