Woody’s Chalkboards

When I retire from ATH, it will be the end of an error

I’m on the “OS” diet. I only eat tacos, burritos, Cheetos, Cheerios, Fritos, Oreos and potatoes.
I’ve gained 12 pounds

In my bracket, I’m picking only chalk

Beware the ides of March Madness, Caesar

Think Tony will be fair to me today? Me, neither

Everything I know I learned from Captain Kangaroo

Will he be called for offensive pass interference?
(drum roll)

Horse named Rob Gronkowski qualifies for Kentucky Derby
(to be continued)

I think, therefore I am, I think

ATH Director is the best in the business. I’m ready for my close-up J.D.

Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts

Nobody is perfect, and I am nobody

I was about to tell a joke about time traveling, but you guys didn’t like it

Someone stole my coffee cup. Now I have to go to the police station and look at mug shots

I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers, but every time the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back

I’m opening up a new place selling synonym twirls

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all of his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Creating a new TV show about hammerhead losing on purpose:
Shark Tanking

My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and has never had a customer. All that time and nothing to chauffeur it

President’s Day is just a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one

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