If
you can
read this
you don't
need glasses
unless
you're already wearing them
then I guess you do need glasses
afterall
I
insist on
prefection
Beard, clean-shaven or paper bag?
These days teens wash their own mouths out with soap
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it
Woody’s Tip Of The Day:
Hiring an electrician without eyebrows is generally not a good idea
When someone yells “Stop.” I never know if it’s in the name of love, if it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen
Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside
I said it once, and I’ll say it again. It.
My New Year’s Resolutions:
- Stop making lists
B. Be more consistent - Learn to count
The guy who came up with the name for the fireplace wasn’t very creative
On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me :
Note: Drawing of two turtles with wings
I believed in Santa. Then I didn’t believe in Santa. Then I became Santa. Now I look like Santa
Elevator music is just awful on every level
I’ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities
If you’re happy and you know it,
clap your…aw!
Note: drawing of a dinosaur with small arms [pic]
I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful, of it was just the 27th outfit she’d tried on and he didn’t want to be late to the party
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, actually it’s more of a wrap
One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re young. If they panic, you’re old
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
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