Woody’s Chalkboards

I had my blood drawn today
Is it a good likeness?

Note: drawing of a red blood cell [pic]

It’s taken me awhile, but I think I’m ready to accept that it’s not butter

Friday is my second favorite 'F' word. Floccinaucinihilipilification is my first

Note: Dictionary.com got you covered: floccinaucinihilipilification

I’m a vol-in-tears

Everything I know in life, I learned from watching Howdy Doody

Of course I have no plan B. I never had a plan A

Black Friday:
Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have

Eat beef

Note: Drawing of a turkey holding a sign [pic]

If you think there’s nothing that’s impossible, obviously you’ve never tried slamming a revolving door

I get knocked down all the time, but I always get right back up.

Note: Drawing of bowling pins [pic]

Spoiler Alert!
The milk in my fridge is 2 weeks past its expiration date

Name the triangles

The meaning of life?
The period between birth and death

The credit card company called me and said my bill was a year old. I said,
“Happy Birthday!”

After exercising, I eat six doughnuts.
Just kidding!
I don’t exercise

Today is World Sandwich Day. Eating a hot dog doesn’t count, Mina

For those of you who didn’t get the first chalkboard, it was a pumpkin and a knife. Get it? Pumpkin carving

Surprise me

7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror. As you might imagine, today is a big day for me

Limbo champion walks into a bar…
he’s disqualified

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