When someone yells “Stop.” I never know if it’s in the name of love, if it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen
Friday, January 12, 2018
Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside
Friday, January 12, 2018
I said it once, and I’ll say it again. It.
Wednesday, January 3, 2018

My New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. Stop making lists
    B. Be more consistent
  2. Learn to count
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
The guy who came up with the name for the fireplace wasn’t very creative
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me :
Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Note: Drawing of two turtles with wings

Christmas Spirits
Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Note: Drawings of alcohol bottles [pic]

I believed in Santa. Then I didn’t believe in Santa. Then I became Santa. Now I look like Santa
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Elevator music is just awful on every level
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
I’ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities
Wednesday, December 13, 2017

If you’re happy and you know it,
clap your…aw!

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Note: drawing of a dinosaur with small arms [pic]

I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful, of it was just the 27th outfit she’d tried on and he didn’t want to be late to the party
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, actually it’s more of a wrap
Monday, December 11, 2017
One way to find out if you’re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you’re young. If they panic, you’re old
Monday, December 11, 2017

555.5 wins
Next goal:
666

Thursday, December 7, 2017
Note to self: Don’t forget to write that note to yourself
Thursday, December 7, 2017

I had my blood drawn today
Is it a good likeness?

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Note: drawing of a red blood cell [pic]

It’s taken me awhile, but I think I’m ready to accept that it’s not butter
Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Friday is my second favorite 'F' word. Floccinaucinihilipilification is my first

Friday, December 1, 2017

Note: Dictionary.com got you covered: floccinaucinihilipilification

I’m a vol-in-tears
Friday, December 1, 2017
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