Woody’s Chalkboards

I speak three languages, English, profanity and sarcasm

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand

I’m a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Some day I’m going to be awesome

It’s OK if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right

I’m not random; you just can’t think as fast as me

I hate when people accuse me of lolly gagging when I am clearly dilly dallying

How I cut carbs

Note: drawing of a pizza cutter [pic]

I have a conflict of no interest

I don’t have any bad habits. I’m good at them all

I hate it when people don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
There so stupid.

Jellyfish survived millions of years with no brains. There is hope for Frank.

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

Being cremated is my last chance for a smoking hot body

If you can’t laugh at yourself, let me do it

I’ve had a busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide

Here I am!
What are your other two wishes?

To quote Macbeth
Act II, Scene I,
Line 587:
“Shut up!”

I came,
I spoke,
I got muted

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge

Change is good, but ones are better

Can’t we all just get along?

Note: drawing of rock, paper, scissors [pic]

About Woody’s Chalkboard