Woody’s Chalkboards

‘Be yourself’ can be the worst advice you can give to some people

I can change a red stoplight to green just by staring at it

Surely, not everyone was kung-fu fighting

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on

Never ask a starfish for directions

Note: Drawing of a starfish [pic]

Stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancies

Sometimes I use words I don’t understand, so I can sound more photosynthesis

Never trust someone that is directing traffic in a hospital gown

I
bonded with
James Bond

I
outbourned
Jason Bourne

If you’re having second thoughts you’re two ahead of most people.

I tried normal once. Worst three minutes of my life.

I have a dream that one day sailors won’t feel pressured to swear

Hide and seek champion

Note: drawing of big foot [pic]

It’s not difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later

I’m throwing a party for introverts, and no one is coming

I learn from mistakes from the people who take my advice

Excusez mon francais fries

Don’t tell me to do it

Hold onto your seat. I’m about to get real loud

About Woody’s Chalkboard