Woody’s Chalkboards

I’m not random; you just can’t think as fast as me

I hate when people accuse me of lolly gagging when I am clearly dilly dallying

How I cut carbs

Note: drawing of a pizza cutter [pic]

I have a conflict of no interest

I don’t have any bad habits. I’m good at them all

I hate it when people don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
There so stupid.

Jellyfish survived millions of years with no brains. There is hope for Frank.

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

Being cremated is my last chance for a smoking hot body

If you can’t laugh at yourself, let me do it

I’ve had a busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide

Here I am!
What are your other two wishes?

To quote Macbeth
Act II, Scene I,
Line 587:
“Shut up!”

I came,
I spoke,
I got muted

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge

Change is good, but ones are better

Can’t we all just get along?

Note: drawing of rock, paper, scissors [pic]

‘Be yourself’ can be the worst advice you can give to some people

I can change a red stoplight to green just by staring at it

Surely, not everyone was kung-fu fighting

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on

About Woody’s Chalkboard