Woody’s Chalkboards

Where are the nuggets?

Don’t adjust your television set. I really am this handsome.

Great minds think like me…
I think

I want truth, justice and the American way. I never get my way

For those who haven’t done so, please do so now

I can melt ice with my mind…
it just takes a few minutes

I am a recovering vegetarian

Does a home school mom hold parent-teacher conferences with herself?

Beware of good deals on:

1. Brain surgery
2. Tattoos
3. Parachutes

I was an honor student. I don’t know what happened

A kayaker hit a sofa; swimmer hit Tim Couch

A four-way stop is an I.Q. test you take in public

A breeze on a hot day is like standing in front of a giant hairdryer

If at first you do succeed, try not to look so surprised

Rio athletes advised to keep their heads above water. Thus, the fastest dog-paddler will take home the gold

Opening Ceremony 2016 Rio Olympics

Note: drawing of stick figure lighting a giant citronella candle [pic]

In a world full of Kardashians, be a Woody

I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram

If you think you’re stupid, just remember Pablo is outside looking for Pokemon

Note: Pablo = Pablo Torre, another panelist on the show

Woody's Advice of the Day:

If you lost something, it will be in the last place you look for it

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