A kayaker hit a sofa; swimmer hit Tim Couch
A four-way stop is an I.Q. test you take in public
A breeze on a hot day is like standing in front of a giant hairdryer
If at first you do succeed, try not to look so surprised
Rio athletes advised to keep their heads above water. Thus, the fastest dog-paddler will take home the gold
Opening Ceremony 2016 Rio Olympics
Note: drawing of stick figure lighting a giant citronella candle [pic]
In a world full of Kardashians, be a Woody
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram
If you think you’re stupid, just remember Pablo is outside looking for Pokemon
Note: Pablo = Pablo Torre, another panelist on the show
Woody's Advice of the Day:
If you lost something, it will be in the last place you look for it
If you lost something, it will be in the last place you look for it
I was standing outside a bar last night. I was outstanding!
I try really hard, but this guy keeps failing me
Note: Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]
The inventor of Mad Libs died today. He was eighty-taco years-old
Confusing Baseball Tradition #1:
Where the song, "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame
Where the song, "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame
The only time I set the bar low is during a game of limbo
I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
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