Woody’s Chalkboards

I’m never overwhelmed or underwhelmed. I’m always whelmed.

I’ve been asked to join a think tank…I think not

“I’m sorry” and “My bad” mean the same thing…unless you’re at a funeral

If you think my chalkboards are ridiculous, you should see my life choices

When one door closes, open it again, because that’s how doors work

I don’t think inside the box. I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Where are the nuggets?

Don’t adjust your television set. I really am this handsome.

Great minds think like me…
I think

I want truth, justice and the American way. I never get my way

For those who haven’t done so, please do so now

I can melt ice with my mind…
it just takes a few minutes

I am a recovering vegetarian

Does a home school mom hold parent-teacher conferences with herself?

Beware of good deals on:

1. Brain surgery
2. Tattoos
3. Parachutes

I was an honor student. I don’t know what happened

A kayaker hit a sofa; swimmer hit Tim Couch

A four-way stop is an I.Q. test you take in public

A breeze on a hot day is like standing in front of a giant hairdryer

If at first you do succeed, try not to look so surprised

About Woody’s Chalkboard