I’m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar

Tip of the day:
Donuts make the best bracelets

Your stomach dunlapped over your belt
Do you have the dunlap disease?
Mister Rogers didn’t effectively prepare me for the people in my neighborhood
The ATH director has asked me to sit backward. He’s tired of looking at my face.
When nature calls, I let it go to voicemail
Broncos at the White House today. I’m in Tony’s dog house.

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack should be
2nd round pick

I don’t think these new young panelists, or Tim, understand brilliance

Note: Tim = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show

Today I re-wrote history

HISTORY

HISTORY

Not only is my short-term memory horrible, but so is my short-term memory
If owning a DSLR camera makes me a photographer, then call me Superman, because I’m wearing red undies
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar
All of these one-liners I come up with and I still don’t have my own sitcom?
Wardrobe Quality

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Why do dogs run to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s rarely ever for them
My 2020 vision allows me to see four years into the future
Laughing gas

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:  )

Keys to happiness

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