I once auditioned to be a trumpeter, but I blew it
Early to bed,
early to rise,
means you can't
watch west coast games
Never give up on your dreams. Unless your dream is to be younger.
Math: The only place people buy 72 oranges and no one wonders why
A bizarre bazaar is a strange place to shop
Reali sits on paper towels. Mute me on the bounty.
Note: Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.
Loading an online shopping cart with $1.4 billion worth of random stuff takes a long time
Always give 100 percent. Unless you’re donating blood.
Do lobster cops use rubber bands instead of handcuffs?
The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. Every winner has been from Earth
When in doubt I mumble and hope not to get muted
We all know babies come from storks, but do the heavier ones come from cranes?
Auld Lang Syne
confusing people since 1787
May all of your worries last as long as your new years resolutions
Conclusion:
The part of the paper when you get tired of thinking
Today’s hairstyle is called “I tried, but failed”
An upside down poet writes inverse
If you order cottage cheese for dinner, do you order off the la curd menu
It’s still stationary no matter how far you push the envelope
About Woody’s Chalkboard
This is an ongoing list of Woody Paige’s chalkboard/blackboard quips from the ESPN show “Around The Horn”. This list was started in January 2008. You can read more about Woody’s chalkboard.
Additionally, you can get an RSS feed.
You can find Woody at woodypaige.com, on Facebook, Twitter, The Denver Post, and the Colorado Springs Gazette.
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