Urology department, can I put you on hold?
I always play mega dimes. Big winner yesterday; 80 cents
A guy just threw a glass of milk at me. How dairy?

1. Give everyone their own whip-cream bottle.
2. Stuff turkey with money.

I’ve worn makeup on TV for 13 years; now I just wear it all the time
If I score 80 points today, I will dedicate my win to 2006 Kobe
At what age is it appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted
Taking a midnight swim in one of the great lakes would be a bit erie
In company meetings, turn off your phone and your mind
Velcro: A rip-off if you ask me
What a coincidence. My IQ and my golf handicap are the same

Ronda Rousey
Down and deFEETed

Tony went to Fordham; I went to Chevyham

There’s a “P” in ESPN for a reason. Hello!

There’s a reason you never see the producer
Do competitive origami artists fold under pressure?

Orion's belt is just a big waste of space
and time

A tree may not make a sound when it falls in the woods, but it sure leaves a mark

No one can hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom because the “P” is silent

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