Woody’s Chalkboards

I’m actually not old; I’m 25 plus shipping and handling

There are two rules to success
1.) Don't tell all you know

A man tried to sell me a coffin the other day, but that’s the last thing I need

“Free agent” is an oxymoron

Iv'e decided to opt out of my contract. I am officially on the market.
-- Chalkboard

Note: Iv'e [sic] [pic]

Birthdays are cool, but 69 of them isn’t good for you

My job is secure. Who else would want to hang over his shoulders for 12 years?

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody.

Tony, if we were NBA draft prospects, which panelist would draw the most boos?

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.

I’ve got a good knock-knock joke, but you have to start.

The affect of bad grammar can effect my mood

If I had three chances every showdown, I’d be to 500 wins by now. #U.S.OPEN

Where do I submit my application for Cavs head coach?
-- Chalkboard

I've always wanted to play golf like Tiger. Now I can.
-- Chalkboard

Dentists clean unhealthy teeth so I don’t trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 of them recommend

Calligraphy is an idea that looked good on paper

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself

Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with

They say third time’s a charm, unless you’re going for 500 wins

I love my body parts, but not my mind parts

The thing about being a nurse is, you must have patience

About Woody’s Chalkboard